Category Archives: Family

Michael the Adult

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Each year I try to write a little something on each of my kids' birthday.  This year I'm kind of at a loss because the oldest, Michael, turns 18 today and that means that as far as the law is concerned he's an adult. An a-d-u-l-t.  What the hell happened to the last 18 years?

Whatever.  One of the reasons those 18 years have been such a blur is that time flies when you're having fun, and Michael definitely keeps things fun.  Whether it's imitations of his teachers (God help our schools if he's even remotely close to being accurate) or verbatim scene reenactments from Monty Python, the kid's a natural comedian.  Some day he may take his parents' advice and pursue his natural talent, but he's just as likely to do something totally unexpected.  He has a tendency to think for himself and do what he thinks is best, much to our frustration, but it's gotten him this far so who am I to second guess? Oh right, I'm his Dad and it kind of comes with the job description.

Right now Michael's trying to figure out how he's going to survive a senior year with a brutal AP schedule while figuring out which college he wants to attend and also keeping his skills sharp on Xbox Live.  I'm telling you life's much more complicated these days, what with figuring out AP science by day while playing Call of Duty against some ringer from the Ukraine at night. In my day we circled around the Atari and watched our buddies play Asteroids.  Ah, simpler times. But I digress.

Whatever he decides to do Michael will be good at it.  He's an amazing young man (I can't write kid anymore) and he has a heart of gold.  Hopefully whatever he decides to do won't take him too far from home and, whatever it is, it will make him as happy as he's made his Old Man and his Old Man's better half.

Happy Birthday Big Michael.

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Michael before the prom last spring

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Michael enjoying our house painting

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9-year-old Michael with his Mom and sister climbing the Grand Tetons.

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Found on Flickr: Warholized Michael (I think he was fourteen)

My Kids Have Been Right All Along: Parents are Stupid

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From NPR:

Why such a big discrepancy between worries and reality? Barnes says parents fixate on rare events because they internalize horrific stories they hear on the news or from a friend without stopping to think about the odds the same thing could happen to their children…

So, what’s a worried parent to do? Barnes has a simple prescription: helmets and seatbelts. Yup, that’s right, helmetsand seatbelts. "I know it sounds boring," she says, but according to her research, making kids wear protective gear and buckle up in the car cuts kids' chances of death by 90 percent and their chances of serious injury by 78 percent. 

You should read the article to see the top five worries parents have, the top five actual hazards to children and the discrepancy between them. 

For the record I encouraged my children to eat things they dropped on the floor even if it took longer than five seconds to pick it up, to draw outside the lines and that making your bed is overrated.  I also encouraged them to watch PG-13 movies when they were 12 1/2.  On the other hand I've told my 16 year old daughter that all boys carry fatal diseases and that there's literally not a good one to be found on the face of the Earth.  

That's my definition of responsible parenting, what's yours?

The “Baby” of the Family is 14

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This has been a heck of a couple of days.  First, our two oldest had their first prom this past Saturday.  If that's not enough to get the "I can't believe I'm this old" angst cranked up, the fact that our "baby" turns 14 today really hammers the point home.  Below are some of my favorite pics of Justin through the years, but of course they don't do justice to the boy who's growing too quickly into young man status.  They don't tell you that he's an incredible book worm; that he's shy to the point of seeming reticent, but when the flood gates open a whole stream of thoughts come pouring out; that he possesses such an incredible imagination that when he does share his thoughts it's often difficult for us mere mortals to grasp where he's going; that under that soft exterior is a surprising iron will and stubbornness; in short there's no way you can tell what an amazing young man he is.  Happy birthday J.

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Making the Honey Do List, AKA Dealing With Dog Farts

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I'm playing bachelor dad this weekend so I'm constructing my honey do list for the weekend.  I used to think lists were unnecessary, but that was before close to two decades of parenting sucked my brain dry.  So lists it is.  

This weekend's list includes chauffeuring kids to various events of varying consequence, supervising the cleaning of the house (now that the kids are teenagers I've moved from labor to management on this one) and, most importantly, purchasing Beano to be sprinkled liberally on our dogs' food.  I cannot describe the unholy stench that permeates our house, but rest assured that I'm hoping beyond all hope that the Beano works. If it doesn't I'm gonna invest in a couple of good corks.

Have a great weekend everyone.

What Would Vacation Be Without a 5:00 a.m. Wake Up? or On Traveling With Teenagers

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It's hard to complain about anything when you've been able to take a few days off and escape with the family to a semi-abandoned timeshare in the land of over-landscaped golf courses.  That said there's something very un-relaxing about spending those days ferrying around three teenagers who can't be bothered to see where they're going because they're sending text message number 8,423 of the day to their boyfriend, or playing game number 2,500 on their DS or simply going whatever place in their vacuous heads that teenagers go that gives them the glassy-eyed stare of a decade-long heroin addict.  Let's just say yesterday didn't provide a very Cleaver-like moment and I let the kids and everyone within a 20 mile radius know that I wasn't cool with it.

Let me be clear: I blew a gasket.  It wasn't an epic gasket-blowing, but it did involve threats of packing up and heading home a couple of days early.  It did include the time-tested "you have no clue how lucky you are that we're able to go on vacation" line that's been used by every parent for generations.  I even threw in the "you kids just don't appreciate what your Mom and I do for you" line.  I don't think the latter two statements had much of an effect, but I think the threat of a 7 hour drive with a pissed off Dad did have a sobering effect.  We ended up having a nice dinner.

And as always when I lose it I crashed early, had a fairly restless sleep and popped awake at some gawdawful early hour (5:00 a.m.).  At least I get to enjoy a quiet cup (or twelve) of coffee. 

Merry Christmas Eve everybody.  And yes, Mom, I do appreciate the irony of all this.

The Gift of Her Art

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My Aunt Debbie is a beautiful artist:

There are many days I lament my lack of time for artistic endeavors. I
want to curl up by the fire and write. I look longingly at stacks of
reed and oak handles and imagine the basket, I want to dust off my
guitar and play until my fingers are calloused. But truthfully my most
consistent art these days is found in the poetry of living. I have to
confess. I am more and more appreciative of the piece I’m sculpting.

Red Alert!

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09_StrayDog2
Okay people this is critical.  The dog pictured here showed up at our house yesterday and must have decided it's a cool place to hang out because he won't leave.  He's well groomed and fed so I'm thinking someone out there is missing him.  Why's this critical?  For the following reasons:

  • We've already adopted two dogs in the last year and if we end up with a third I'll have to refinance just to feed them all.
  • I can hear you saying, "Well just take him to the shelter."  Unfortunately he's a sweetheart of a dog and I can already see the soft spot in my wife's heart for him so the shelter is NOT going to be an option.
  • The kids have already named him Cujo.  That's not good.
  • Riley, our recently adopted black lab, was just starting to settle down and behave and now we have another large male dog that's trying to establish dominance by mounting him every 30 seconds.  I'm afraid that Riley will chew another door frame or two before we get him readjusted.
  • Mia, the little girl in the bunch, will probably need dog therapy if this goes on much longer. 

So, if you know anyone in the Lewisville vicinity that's missing a dog that looks even remotely like the one pictured please have them get hold of me. 

Truly Thankful

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Well, this has been one of those weeks that bookmark a life.  Since I haven't asked for her permission to write about her medical condition let's just say my Mom had an episode on Tuesday and it landed her in the hospital and after they've done a bunch of diagnostic work on her followed by a fairly routine procedure it looks like she'll be home on Saturday not much worse for wear.  While it was scary, I think it's one of those life occurrences that is just scary enough to remind you of what's truly important.  It also reminds you that life doesn't care if it's Thanksgiving week when it throws you a curve ball, and even on Thanksgiving Day hospital food ain't very good.

Let me just say that although it was largely spent in a hospital room this Thanksgiving was one in which I truly felt thankful.  I'm thankful to have my Mom around, I'm thankful that she has her significant other Bert around, and I'm thankful that her doctors were as methodical and diligent as they were even though my Mom begged and pleaded for them to release her, even temporarily, for Thanksgiving day.  I'm very thankful for the friends and family that offered support and love and I hope we all get the chance to come together to be thankful together soon.

Finally I'm thankful for the hours that Mom and I got to really talk to each other this week without distraction. That's a rare occurrence these days and I'm just sorry it took a stay in the hospital to give us the opportunity.  Hopefully we won't need another one before we do it again.

Love you Mom.

P.S.  I think Mom is going to be very thankful for Medicare.

17, 16 and 13

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DSC_0362  KidsInWyoming

 
Over the last few years I've tried to write a post to each of my kids on their birthdays, but when Justin (our youngest) turned 13 last spring I decided that he would find it most embarassing and that I should probably cease and desist the practice until they're old enough to not be overly embarassed by their father.  Then last night I was thinking about Erin (our middle child) turning 16 today and I decided that embarassing the kids is part of my job description so they'll just have to get over it.

Of course I don't have to go into anything embarassing unless I really want to.  I don't have to post any embarassing pictures of them, and really there aren't any that I can think of since we never dressed them in lederhosen or leisure suits (that would be my cross to bear, thank you very much).  So I'll just tell you that it's truly a blessing to have three kids who are as bright and funny as these three, and that although they can drive a Dad to drink on many an occasion, they can cause a Dad to burst with pride on many more.  I can't imagine life without them, and I dread the day that Celeste and I will have to share them with the rest of the world.

Happy belated birthday Michael and Justin, and happy sweet 16 Erin.  Here's a blast from the past for a few giggles: