Category Archives: Uncategorized

Five Feet

Want to know the difference five feet makes? When the city/county water department comes out to your neighborhood and digs a hole and that hole is over the water main five feet from where the water line for your house connects to the main, and the water department shuts off the water where the hole is, you miraculously end up with water while all your neighbors on the other side of that hole have no water service at all.

Note to the water folks – if you’re going to shut off the water for a bunch of folks on Sunday evening you might want to let them know. A note on the door letting them know what you’re doing and giving them an idea of what lies ahead (nature of the work being done, time til water service is turned back on, etc.) would be a good idea.

Jon’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

If you want to lose, oh, six or seven pounds in about two hours I know one way to do it. Try transplanting a bunch of monkey grass from one side of your property to the other in 94 degree heat on July 4 in an effort to beat the predicted thunderstorms. If you sweat like a Lowder, which means you have to be the kind of person who breaks into a sweat when you walk a block in 65 degree weather you might even lose 10 pounds.

The bad news is you put a bunch of pounds right back on when you suck down four beers to celebrate your accomplishment. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The Greatest Father’s Day Gift

Two days ago my wife, Celeste, received one of those phone calls you never want to get: one of our kids was in an ambulance headed to the hospital and the caller didn’t know anything beyond that. Even worse our child was at the beach which was a four hour drive away. Celeste called me and we tried to stay calm enough to figure out what to do. For the next half hour we didn’t know anything other than our baby girl Erin (okay she’s 17 years old) had been in a Jet Ski accident and no one could tell us if she was seriously hurt or if the ambulance was merely a precaution.

Eventually we got hold of the ER and the doctor was able to tell us that Erin was fine, but that she’d probably be very sore for a few days. He also said that she was a very lucky girl not to have been seriously injured. Celeste and I started our drive to the beach knowing that Erin would be okay and wondering how many of these scares we could take before we ended up in the hospital ourselves.

Today as we celebrate Fathers Day I can tell you that I’ve already received the greatest gift I’ll ever get: the health and happiness of my three kids. That’s the only gift I want or need and it is a gift I wish for every father out there.