Jon’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

If you want to lose, oh, six or seven pounds in about two hours I know one way to do it. Try transplanting a bunch of monkey grass from one side of your property to the other in 94 degree heat on July 4 in an effort to beat the predicted thunderstorms. If you sweat like a Lowder, which means you have to be the kind of person who breaks into a sweat when you walk a block in 65 degree weather you might even lose 10 pounds.

The bad news is you put a bunch of pounds right back on when you suck down four beers to celebrate your accomplishment. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

2 thoughts on “Jon’s Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

  1. Fec

    Monday was as miserable a day as I can remember. Having moved a lot of monkey grass myself, I consider it time well spent, as it will grow when everything else has died.

  2. Jon Lowder

    Yeah, monkey grass are the roaches of the plant world.  We yanked out a bunch when we had our new septic field put in and we just threw it in the woods behind our house.  Of course its thriving and provides us with a seemingly endless supply as we consider edging anything/everything on our property.


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