Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Proof That Your Boss Probably IS a Lying, Cheating Bastard

The London Times printed an excerpt from Freakonomics that is pretty interesting.  A former economist for the US Government went into business providing bagels to companies each morning and leaving a box for the companies’ employees to put money in if they ate a bagel.  He also provided a suggested price for them to pay.  After that he relied on the honor system for his payment.

Being an economist the guy kept detailed data about his sales.  He was able to track the payment rate (or cheating rate if you want to be negative) on a company-by-company basis.  At one company he was even able to track the cheating rate of the executive suite vs. the lower level employees.  Here’s a quote:

He also believes that employees further up the
corporate ladder cheat more than those below. He got this idea after
delivering for years to one company spread out over three floors — an
executive floor on top and two lower floors with sales, service, and
administrative employees. (Feldman wondered if perhaps the executives
cheated out of an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. What he didn’t
consider is that perhaps cheating was how they came to be executives.)

The excerpt also has some interesting comparisons of small companies vs. large companies, the  effect of weather and other factors.  Definitely a fun read.

FYI, I’m in the middle of reading Freakonomics (which is excellent) and I’ll probably be posting observations about it here in the future.

The Past Comes Back to Haunt Me

So my brother calls me to tell me that I should Google my name and see what happens.  I do as he advises and there, as result number three, I find something called "Pictures2.html."

Kegserving_firehouse_party"Oh, God," I think.  I hold my breath and click.  "HOLY CRAP," I scream to myself.  There before my eyes are pictures of me and my fraternity buddies from almost 20 years ago. Apparently Brannen "Bourbon" Taylor has created a nice little alumni site with tons of pictures. I’m posting the best one here, because quite frankly the rest call my masculinity into question.

I obviously had a propensity for pastel colored shirts, and somehow I didn’t get laughed out of college.

Actually I have to show you my nice 80’s pant selection (see below) on a spring break trip.  That’s my fraternity brother Shane Womack in the towel. From looking at all of Bourbon’s pictures I’d have to say that my fraternity brothers had a propensity to wear no shirts at all…maybe that’s why no one noticed my pastels.

Springbreak_shane_and_jonAh, to hell with it.  I’ve been married for 13 years, I’m 38 years old, a father of three, a hell of a lot fatter and with a little less hair than these pictures show.  What do I have to lose besides the last shred of dignity I’ve been saving up for an emergency.

Okay, I can’t resist posting a couple more.  I’m beginning to realize how much I regret not staying in touch with these guys.  I still consider them some of the best people I’ve met.  I guess I’ll have to pick up the phone and start dialing.

FlagfootballThrd picture is our intramural flag football team.  I’m in the back and that’s my younger brother Russ in the foreground in the white shirt.  I was a fifth-year senior and Russ a freshman that year.  I’ve always been thankful we had the chance to spend that much time together.

Last picture is from a trip we made to Wyoming for a leadership workshop.
That’s Parag Amin, me, Keven Kvasnicka (back), Francis Shafer and Scott
Swahl.  Hard to believe it’s been about 17 years since that was shot

Workshoptrip

Honey, Do You Want to Starve?

According to this article it seems that the owner of a small painting company is at risk of losing a $5,000 contract with a school system because he fired a woman and was honest (or dumb) enough to leave a voice mail saying he was firing her because she’s a woman, not for any legitimate work-based cause.  It gets better.

In the message the guy said that his wife found out he had some "girls" working for him and wouldn’t stand for that.  Seems she’s the jealous type.  So, he said, to avoid conflict at home he decided to fire the women.

Oh, there are so many things I could write here.  I’ll just limit it to these:

  1. Dude, I admire your honesty but what were you thinking?  It can’t be a surprise that your wife is jealous, so why put yourself in that position?  It sounds like you are probably an honorable person so I’d recommend keeping the employees since they didn’t do anything wrong (i.e. they held up their side of the bargain) and dealing with your issues at home.
  2. Maam, do you think in this day and age your husband will be able to do his job without encountering any women?  Are you going to fly into a jealous rage every time he talks to a female customer?  Do you want him to not hire the best available worker just because she’s a woman?  Do you want to eat and have a roof over your head?
  3. Have either one of you heard of marriage counseling?  I think you might need it.

English as it Spose to be Spoke

Rapper 50 Cent has a manager named Sha Money XL. Quick aside: I really miss the early rap days of the much more interesting monikers of Ice Cube, Tupac Shakur, and the oxymoronic Biggy Smalls.

Anyway Mr. XL was recently held up at his barbershop in Queens, New York which was a newsworthy event for AllHipHop.com.  So of course they interviewed him and that’s when he said:

“N***as ain’t
  shoot my whip up, they did set me up,” he said. “I’m still in the
  hood and got a scope on all these jealous bitch a** n***s in my ‘hood
  that ain’t happy for me. [They] wanna eat try [to set me up] again – I
  will feed them.”

Oh. And then he talked about he’s the only HipHop mogul from Queens who’s stayed close to home.

"Steve Stoute, Clue
  and Irv [Gotti] blew and never turned around. Here I am doing the opposite and
  that’s the love I get? It’s all good. I’m still breathing – God bless
  that, [I’m] still rich, back to Jacob for a bigger bezel and bigger piece,”
  he continued. “I’m still in the hood and n***as know that but famous words
  from [50 Cent] – ‘f*** the hood.’

Nuff said.

The Curse

Call it the Jon Lowder Curse:

1972 – Jon moves to D.C.  Neighbor’s townhouse burns down. Washington Senators become Texas Rangers.  The Redskins get thumped by the Dolphins in the Super Bowl (January, 1973).

1978 – As an exception to prove the rule the Washington Bullets win the NBA championship.  After that Washingon joins the Clippers as one of the worst franchises in the NBA for close to 30 years.

1980s – Early 90s – Okay, it wasn’t all bad.  Redskins are one of the dominant teams in the NFL as they win three Super Bowls, but then…

1984 – Jon graduates from Capital Lutheran High School West.  Two weeks later the school goes out of business.

1989 – The Texas Rangers (see 1972 Washington Senators above) are purchased by a consortium led by George W. Bush
in 1989, which helps catapult him to Governor of Texas in 1994 and
President of the United States in 2000.  Consequently bad public
speaking becomes the order of the day (even most Republicans admit
that), my mother’s blood pressure rises exponentially and trees experience
lots of bark loss as they are hugged relentlessly in protest.

2004 – Jon moves to Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  Montreal Expos become the Washington Nationals, and Northern Virginia climbs to number 11 on Inc. magazine’s Best Places while Winston Salem plummets to 234th place.

The Washington Wizards (nee Bullets) make the playoffs for the first time since 1997, and the first time not as the lowest seed since the early 80s.

And in a direct continuum from the 1972 reference above we endure an endless presidential campaign featuring two of the worst public speakers in the history of US politics.  Worse, we are forced to admit that our country’s fate was left in the hands of Ohio, the Florida of the north.

Now be nice or I’ll move to your neighborhood and bring the locusts with me.

And You Thought Your Day was Bad

Next time you’re having a bad day, think of these folks…you know misery loves company:

Bad Day #1-Source KABC: A local musician is issuing a desperate plea for the return of a valuable violin that was stolen.

The rare violin and bow are worth $850,000
and were on loan to 20-year-old Lindsay Deutsch of West Hills. The
violin was made in year 1742 and the bow is just one of five in the
world. Both were snatched from Deutsch’s car as it was parked in a
Pavilion’s parking lot.

The rare instruments belong to Peter
Mandell, who loaned them to Deutsch. Both are insured, but aren’t
covered in this case, because they were stolen form a motor vehicle.

Bad Day #2-Source Boing Boing: Berkeley laptop thief is scared out of his wits by professor

The last few minutes of this video from a biology class at Berkeley is
of professor explaining the terrifying consequences that will soon
befall the student that stole his laptop. Hell, I’m 500 miles away from
Berkeley and I’m scared after watching this.

"For those people who don’t want to deal with RealPlayer I made a very lo-fi mp3 of the audio from the "Stolen Laptop" lecture posted earlier today
(Editorial note from Jon: If
you want to hear this professor scare the bejesus out of someone in
front of a lecture hall full of students click on the "ver lo-fi mp3 link when you visit the source page).

Have a great day!