Tag Archives: the onion

Al-Qaeda Marching Band in Macy’s Day Parade?!

I love The Onion, and this piece titled Al-Qaeda Marching Band To Join Macy's Parade After Incredible Audition is a good example why. As with most satire there's always the risk that someone won't get it and take it seriously, which can offer its own form of entertainment.  A perfect example of this happened recently on Facebook when a friend of mine "shared" the aforementioned article and a friend of his took it seriously.  To avoid piling on I'm going to use pseudonyms when replaying the conversation that ensued in the comment section of the post:

Took It Seriously: absolutely obnoxious that this country even allows this to happen, what an insult to the Americans who have lost their lives to these people……….sorry <Jon'sFriend> call it as I see it, I hope you son never knows what it is like to find himself in the sight of an Al-Qaeda terrorist.

Jon's Friend: Its a joke <TookItSeriously>

Took it Seriously: It's a joke?

Jon's Friend: Yes – The Onion is a humor site.

Jon's Friend: Like this http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-power-brokers-hold-annual-summit-where-they,18474/?utm_source=recentnews

Took it Seriously: Quit givin me a heart attack <Jon's Friend>!! No chocolate for you this week!! Forgive my momentary loss of sanity!!

Before you're too judgmental about Took it Seriously, remember that we live in the post-9/11 age of hyperventilating news so we're inundated with seemingly implausible headlines like:

Seriously, if you live in a world where headlines like these appear on a regular basis I think you can be excused for mistaking The Onion for a real news outlet.

 

This Story Is Oh So Onion-y

Truth really is stranger than fiction, and this story that I would swear came from The Onion (but apparently didn't) is proof:

Enter "Waterworld" star Kevin Costner, who has invented a device that cleans oil from sea water.

British Petroleum - desperate for ideas – gave the okay to test six of Costner's gizmos Wednesday, after the Army Corps of Engineers gave the machine a thumbs-up.

Costner's $24 million centrifuge machine has a Los Angeles-perfect name, "Ocean Therapy."

Placed on a barge, it sucks in oily water, separates out the oil and spits back clean water.


Parents: The Onion Confirms What You Already Knew

The folks at The Onion are geniuses.  Exhibit A is this piece entitled "New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths."  An excerpt:

According to Dr. Leonard Mateo, a developmental psychologist at the
University of Minnesota and lead author of the study, most adults are
completely unaware that they could be living among callous monsters who
would remorselessly exploit them to obtain something as insignificant
as an ice cream cone or a new toy.

"The most disturbing facet of this ubiquitous childhood disorder is
an utter lack of empathy," Mateo said. "These people—if you can even
call them that—deliberately violate every social norm without ever
pausing to consider how their selfish behavior might affect others.
It's as if they have no concept of anyone but themselves."

"The depths of depravity that these tiny psychopaths are capable of reaching are really quite chilling," Mateo added.