Category Archives: Politics

Nebraska State Senator Sues God

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In the "You Can’t Make This Stuff Up" category is the story of Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers (Democrat from Omaha) suing God and his followers in an attempt to get them to stop making terrorist threats.  From the Wired Threat Level Blog (found via Boing Boing):

The suit
(.pdf), filed in a Nebraska district court, contends that God, along
with his followers of all persuasions, "has made and continues to make
terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons." Those
threats are credible given God’s history, Chambers’ complaint says.

Chambers, in a fit of alliteration, also accuses God of causing
"fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes,
terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines,
devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like."

Likewise the suit accuses God of having his chroniclers "disseminate
in written form, said admissions, throughout the Earth in order to
inspire fear, dread, anxiety, terror and uncertainty, in order to
coerce obedience to Defendant’s will."

Take that ye proselytizers!  But wait…it gets better:

The senator also wants the court to issue a permanent injunction
prohibiting God from issuing plagues and terrorist threats. It’s
unclear how this could work since God is usually understood to be all
powerful.

Chambers does admit that God is omnipresent and omniscient, however.
Since God is everywhere, the Nebraska court has jurisdiction, Chambers
argues, and since God is all-knowing, Chambers need not serve him with
a notice of the lawsuit.

The lawsuit indicates that Chambers attempted to make God appear in
order to serve him by saying "Come out, come out, wherever you are,"
but the Almight declined, like many defendants, to make it easy for a
plaintiff to serve him with court papers.

In all fairness to Mr. Chambers the story points out that he’s trying to make a point that the state constitution allows lawsuits to be filed for any reason. 

Personally I think Mr. Chambers is also intent on providing us the best entertainment to come out of Omaha since Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Here’s a story line: Marlin Perkins and Jim Fowler assisting God with a new ark as the next great flood  bears down on them in response to Mr. Chambers’ blasphemous lawsuit, or maybe it’s punishment for Chambers’ un-godly alliteration.  Either way, it’s a winner.

If you’re another child of the 70s check out the Wild Kingdom boys in action here.   Almost brings a nostalgic tear to my eye.

Foxx in the Glass House

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Ed Cone has a nice little post about my US Rep., Virginia Foxx, and points out that those who live in glass houses should be very careful of the rocks they throw.  Below is the video of Rep. Foxx deriding some of the bills she sees as a waste of Congress’ time and here’s the link to some of the resolutions that Rep. Foxx has sponsored, including a resolution to recognize the Christmas tree industry and my favorite, H.CON.RES.205: Recognizing the spirit of Jacob Mock Doub and his contribution to
encouraging youth to be physically active and fit and expressing the
sense of Congress that "National Take a Kid Mountain Biking Day" should
be established in Jacob Mock Doub’s honor.

In all fairness I should point out that I’m not a fan of Rep. Foxx and have made that clear.  I also think that she’s sponsored some good bills (Example: H.R.1499 :
To amend the Internal Revenue Code of 1986 to allow members of the
Armed
Forces serving in a combat zone to make contributions to their
individual retirement plans even if the compensation on which such
contribution is based is excluded from gross income.)  That said, I also think Ed’s right that she’s being a little hypocritical in this case.

BTW, Rep. Foxx and another junior NC Rep., Patrick McHenry, are part of a Republican effort to get the Democrats to air the earmarks on the pending Homeland Security bill now, before it goes to conference with the Senate, and not after it goes to conference.  Basically they’re calling the Democrats out on campaign promises to make the legislative process more transparent.  Of course when their party was in power they were calling for no such thing, but I guess that’s neither here nor there.

Constituent Relations by State Rep. Larry Brown

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North Carolina State Rep. Larry Brown from Kernersville sent a cute little email to Anglico of Blue NC.  Blue NC is a site for NC Democrats and Rep. Brown is decidedly Republican so you it isn’t surprising that they don’t see eye to eye, but the Representative’s tone is a tad harsh.  For those of you who don’t like to follow links here’s what Anglico wrote, followed by the Rep.’s reply:

Anglico: Dear Hard-Working Representative,

Following the recent convention of the North Carolina GOP in Charlotte, a number of Republican Representatives wrote to me, complaining that the Democrats in North Carolina really aren’t the majority party in the House because their candidates actually received more votes in 2006 than Democrats received. One of my colleagues recently completed an analysis of that talking point, which I am sure you’ll find interesting. Her report is posted here for your easy review.

Rep. Brown:  I cannot tell you in a kind way what you liberals can do with all your waste that would make the hog lagoon issue look like a diaper. Enjoy while you can. Post that on your web page and come visit me anytime. Larry Brown

Ed Cone linked to this piece and in the comments of that post Anglico wrote this:

Two comments:

1. Nothing I sent to Larry Brown was disrespectful or rude in any way. I challenged the Republican talking point that they "really won" in 2006 and should be in the majority in the NC House. Mr. Brown apparently has trouble reading, or else he simply objects to anyone taking issue with his point of view.

2. Most offensive of all is Mr. Brown’s blatant and gleeful disregard for anyone in his district who has liberal political leanings. He wrote the following to me:

I cannot tell you in a kind way what you liberals can do with all your waste that would make the hog lagoon issue look like a diaper. Enjoy while you can. Post that on your web page and come visit me anytime. Larry Brown

And this to one of his own constituents:

When you liberals try to send me a bunch of trash I respond. I did not initiate the exchange, but I will not yield one inch. I did not bully anyone or use foul language. You people can wallow in all your " votes for sale " attitude all you want, but I am not a part of your conspiracy to rob the citizens of North Carolina honest service.

All your buddies have not been sentenced yet. If Republicans take money for votes I want them to go to jail too. Get a real life. I am not coddling to a bunch liberal ideas either like lifestyles or sexual orientation. If you do not like it that is too bad. I am sure I will lose a lot of sleep over it.

BlueNC sent me an email and I answered just like I did with yours. If I never hear from you again, you will never hear from me. Have a nice life.

For Mr. Brown, a serious analysis of the facts on the 2006 election apparently qualifies as a "bunch of trash."

Gives new meaning to the term public servant, don’t you think?

In a way it’s kind of refreshing to see a politician not engaging in double talk and fence sitting, but on the other hand I’d kind of hope that a person who can vote on billions of dollars in state spending would be more thoughtful.

Cream of the Crop?

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Over at Freakonomics they’ve posted an interesting item from one of their readers on the subject of military officer promotions.  Here’s an excerpt:

Officers rise through the system without relevance to merit; promotions
are based on the length of time the officer has been in the system. (Up
to the rank of Lieutenant-Colonel, anyway — to make Colonel you have to
have done more than serve time.) Enlisted men are subject to a
completely different rule: you see them studying for months, mastering
the contents of a book this thick (makes gesture, thumb and fingers
about three inches apart).

To be an officer you must either have been to one of the military
academies or to college. Because promotion is not based on merit, smart
officers get frustrated and leave for jobs where they can make better
money; less able officers have every reason to stay, since incompetence
is no impediment to career advancement. Since the effect of the system
is to retain the least able, it perpetuates the elimination of the
able: the norm is for smart young officers to find themselves reporting
not to superiors like themselves (the ablest left early in frustration
at the stupidity of the system), but to superiors who a) were not
frustrated by the system and b) feel threatened by clever subordinates
… And that’s how we get the leadership of our defense services.

They ask for input from other readers to see if this is in fact an accurate representation of the military system today.  My guess is that they’ll find this a somewhat simplistic portrayal of the system that is, unfortunately, closer to true than not.  Of course this problem isn’t unique to the military, as anyone who grew up in the DC area could tell you.  There’s a reason a lot of us who were the children of civil servants decided not to follow our parents into the government.  We heard way too many stories about "idiots and a-holes" who’s rise through the ranks seemed to the defy the gravity of their incompetence.  Sure the job security and benefits are great, but how many people want to work for or with a brown-nosing, sniveling incompetent?

Okay I’m a little cynical about the federal government, but I think there’s plenty of reason to be cynical and I’m willing to bet the Freakonomics boys will find as much cynicism regarding the military.   

SB1006: Why it Matters

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Winston-Salem Journal managing editor Ken Otterbourg has a great post today on why SB1006 is important here in North Carolina:

I want to get on my soapbox for a few minutes and talk about SB1006,
which is making its way through the General Assembly. It’s another
example of the slow and steady erosion of North Carolina’s
public-records laws. The bill, sponsored by Sen. Tony Rand, of
Fayetteville, carves out an exemption in the public-records law for
public hospitals when they buy private medical practices.

These purchases have been going on for some time, and are part of
the general consolidation in the medical/health care industry, with
hospitals having primary care practices. Forsyth/Novant has these
arrangements. So does WFUBMC, the other 800 lb gorilla at the opposite
end of Hawthorne Road. These are both private, not-for-profit entities,
and, the argument goes, that public hospitals need the same sort of
privacy if they are going to be able to compete.

It’s a common-sense solution, supporters say. To me, the key word in
this debate is public. A hospital that is owned by taxpayers is a
different entity. The money, the assets, the reputation, it’s all owned
by us. If a private hospital wants to overpay for a clinical practice,
that’s OK. But taxpayers ought to know how public officials are
spending their money.

Yep.

Fec’s VFD Political Theory

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My buddy Fec has his own theory about the "electability" of our current dozens of candidates for POTUS.  Boiled down all he’s saying is that if you can’t be elected to the local volunteer fire department you can’t be elected POTUS.  Here’s his rundown of the current candidates:

John Edwards – not a chance.

Hillary Clinton – sorry, no women allowed.

Barak Obama – sorry, no blacks allowed.

Al Gore – too fat.

Joe Biden – too stupid.

John McCain – vets are an automatic.  Besides, he’s been around.

Newt Gingrich – too geeky.

Mitt Romney – sorry, no Mormons.

Bill Richardson – sorry, no wetbacks.

Chris Dodd – sorry, too old.

Dennis Kucinich – too boring.

Duncan Hunter – lead pipe cinch.

Mike Huckabee – a fiscal conservative from Arkansas.  Yeah, he’s in.

Tom Tancredo – Good on his feet.  He’s in.

Rudy Giuliani – are you kidding me?  The guys are soiling themselves at the prospect.

I think Fec’s on to something, and I’ll take his opinion over Russert’s any day.

RINO and DINO meet NINO

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RINO and DINO sounds like some sort of cartoon or maybe even a NY nightclub act from the ’50s, but in this case it means "Republican in Name Only" and "Democrat in Name Only."  These terms are bandied about online, usually as an epithet in some political nutjob’s rantings.  You know the kind: "Bush is God, the Republicans are the only thing standing between America and the Democrats’ bankrupting us with their irresponsible tax and spend policies and the liberals’ bringing about Armageddon with their support of baby butchering and butt humping", or, "Bush is the Devil, the Democrats are the only thing standing between America and the Republicans’ bankrupting us with their irresponsible tax-cut and spend policies and the neo-cons bringing about Armageddon with their foolhardy battle with Islam."  Basically I’m talking about the pains-in-the-asses who see all human relations as adversarial and somehow never picked up the finer points of civil discourse during their adolescent development.

I’m always amused by the RINO and DINO accusations.  As someone who’s never joined either party I can’t be called anything but NINO (nothing in name only) and since that doesn’t actually mean anything it doesn’t really sting.  My brother used to accuse me of being an independent because I didn’t have the balls to take a stand on issues.  I used to respond that I refused to be associated with any group that I could disagree with consistently since I didn’t want anyone to think that I might believe in something in which I didn’t.  I think I also said something nasty like he was a Republican because he couldn’t think for himself, but hey, we were young.

I truly have a hard time understanding why an "average voter" would join a political party.  It’s easy to understand why people who want to be in power would form or join a party since it’s a means for them to achieve their goals, but I just don’t get it for the average person.  Maybe they want to be told how to think, or maybe they look at it like supporting a football team, or maybe they like the snacks at the party meetings, but it’s still a befuddler to me. I mean if I were to declare myself a Democrat I’d be associated with people like Kennedy and Rangel, and if I were to declare myself a Republican I’d be associated with people like Foxx and Bush.

And what about the issues?  You ask any 10 Republicans what they believe about the war and you’re going to get a lot of different answers.  Some want to get out, some want to stay.  Ask them about the separation of church and state and you’ll get different answers depending on whether you’re speaking to a fiscal or social conservative.  If I were Republican I’d be spending all my time prefacing my remarks with, "I’m a Republican, but not one of those Republicans, because I don’t agree with their stance on…", and it would take me a full paragraph before I could actually state my own beliefs.  As an independent I simply start with, "I don’t belong to a party.  I believe…"  I’m not picking on the Republicans since the same would happen with the Democrats.

All this got me to thinking that maybe the solution is to start a party of NINOs.  We’d essentially be a party that professes a belief in nothing, requires its members to only vote their consciences and endorses no particular candidate or issue.  We’d have a big convention just like the other parties, and we might even nominate a candidate, but we’d do it by lottery.  Hell, our odds would be fantastic for putting someone better in the White House than the Democrats or Republicans, I mean even random selection could do better than those jokers have done for the last generation or so.  We could even give ourselves a nice all-encompassing name: The Elephant’s Ass.  Our slogan could be something pithy like, "All for nothing".  I wonder if the RINOs and DINOs would come over if we invited them?

Teapots, Earmarks and Foxx

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ABC’s Nightline did a piece on anonymous Congressional spending earmarks and about halfway through the piece they have an interview with our recently re-elected Congresswoman Virginia Foxx about an earmark she had inserted in a bill for a Teapot Museum in Sparta, NC.  Here’s some highlights from her comments:

  • She says that people are only making fun of the project because it’s called the "Teapot Museum" and really it’s an art museum.  (Ed. Note: Teapots are art?)
  • She also says that since this is the way the game is played (anonymous earmarks inserted in spending bills) that’s how she’s going to play it.
  • She says that she’s not embarassed about asking for the funding and if the rules were different she would gladly ask for the money in a more transparent manner.

Uh huh.  Here’s my reaction to that:

  • You didn’t have to insert it as an earmark. You could have publicly inserted the request for funding in the bill, but you chose not to.
  • Two (or more) wrongs don’t make a right.
  • Nice principles.  "I’m going to play fast and loose with taxpayer dollars because everyone else is."
  • Didn’t notice you standing on the House floor screaming for reform, but maybe I missed it.

Finally, it looks like the ABC interview was conducted at the recording studio of Triad Today either before or after her debate with Roger Sharpe.  Isn’t that the same debate from which she asked the Winston-Salem Journal to be banned?  Just asking.

Self Flaggelation

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Quit snickering, the title is self-flaggelation not self-flatulation.  Every time there’s an election I think of this term as it relates to one of my oldest friends, Dimitri (Jimmy) Kesari.  Jimmy and I went to high school together and from the go he was more involved in politics than anyone I’ve ever known.  He talked me into running for Student Body president my senior year, got me elected and got himself elected secretary.  Of course he then ran the student body behind the scenes while I stayed busy flirting with the girls on the student council.

Jimmy’s an arch-conservative and has walked the conservative walk his entire life.  He went to Grove City College which is so conservative that they proudly refuse to take any federal funding so they don’t have to play by the government’s rules (at least that’s what he said).  After college he started a solid wast recycling business in Northern Virginia and hired me to keep an eye on all the ex-cons running his heavy machinery.  I survived that for about six months before deciding I valued my life too much to continue dodging front loaders and hydraulic mulchers that mysteriously seemed to attack the only college kid in the yard.  Eventually Jimmy had a split with his business partner and he went into politics, which is where the self-flagellation comes in.

Jimmy became a campaign manager for a couple of different hard-right conservatives running for the House.  Even in conservative Virginia these guys were unelectable so Jimmy’s guys would get something like 12% of the vote. Each time I’d talk to Jimmy after an election he’d say things like, "The campaign was a big success.  The last time my guy ran he got 5% of the vote and this time we doubled him up to 10%."  The man is a conservative martyr.

Now Jimmy’s working for Right to Work and running their state level political operations.  I talked to him this summer and he was getting ready to spend a month away from his family in October working the hotbed states.  Although our politics are very dissimilar I know that in Jimmy’s case the conservatism is heart felt and he does walk the walk, which means I’ll enjoy disagreeing while never losing respect for him.  I can’t say that about a lot of people in politics these days.  I haven’t talked to him about it but I can almost guarantee you he’s not too happy with the way the Republican Party has steered its course of late.  For his sake I hope he’s back home right now enjoying his wife and kids and refueling for the next fight. 

How to Lose My Vote

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You know an election stinks when you go into it with the attitude that you’re voting for someone because they’re not someone else.  The last couple of presidential elections have been like that for me and now this mid-term election has turned into a nose-holder.  I honestly don’t know squat about Roger Sharpe, who’s running against incumbent Virginia Foxx in North Carolina’s 5th Congressional District.  Perhaps I don’t know much about Sharpe because he raised about $4 for his campaign and thus has aired maybe one commercial at 6 a.m. on public access TV and his website isn’t that informative (although it’s better than Foxx’s), but to be honest I don’t need to know that much about him for one very repugnant reason: he can’t possibly be worse than Foxx.  Here’s why I really don’t like the job my Representative has done:

  • She was dumb enough to go to Iraq this summer and come back and say to the local paper that based on her extensive discussions with soldiers during her day or two spent in the Green Zone things were going swimmingly in Iraq.
  • She was petty enough to freeze out the local paper on all campaign-related coverage because they reported what she said.  If she’s going to act like this she really isn’t ready for the big leagues of politics.
  • She voted against Katrina funding, saying that there needed to be more oversight of the spending.  She was probably right about the need for more oversight but she lost her legitimacy about this particular argument when she didn’t make the same argument for war funding.
  • On immigration she wants to bake her cake and eat it too.  She says she wants no amnesty for illegal immigrants and wants to build a wall, but she also says that we need to help businesses that depend on immigration. I haven’t seen anything where she’s said we should show no amnesty for those companies that employ illegal immigrants.  Wait, those would be her campaign contributors so I guess that wouldn’t be a good position.

There are more, but that’s enough for me.  Actually there’s one last reason I won’t be voting for her: someone at GOP HQ thought it would be a good idea to have a Rush Limbaugh recording with a tired "Nancy Pelosi is going to kill your children" message tele-spammed to my house. If they’re using that Oxy-addled, limp-***ed, blow hard for a lock election then they’re worse off than I imagined.

If you need to find me tomorrow I’ll be the guy with the gas mask on at the polls.