Since I never seem to succeed in fulfilling my new year resolutions I've decided to try listing my "unresolutions" in the hope that I succeed in not unresolving.  Or whatever.  Anyway, they are:

• Gain weight.
• Get out of shape.
• Lose money.
• Lose friends and influence no one.
• Break everything I touch.
• Fail miserably at everything I do.
• Celebrate my laziness.
• Live slothfully.

I think that covers it.  Here's to a terrible 2010!