This morning I received the following email from my lovely wife Celeste. It was sent after she'd already dealt with an outrageous billing issue with our former insurance company and had left our dog Mia to her own devices for two hours this morning. Luckily Mia was confined to the family room, sun room and kitchen or who knows what she might have done. Here's the text of the email:
Subject: Mia. Mia. Mia.
On top of the Blue Cross thing now there's the Mia thing. Or should I say THINGS?
1. Pee on the kitchen floor.
2. Notebook paper chewed up like a shredder on the family room floor.
3. An entire bag of tortilla strips in a pile in the sunroom (a rather neat and tidy pile by the way).
4. My knitting. Oh yes this is wonderful. The once neatly wound ball of yarn is now a bird's nest.
5. Did I mention that my knitting needles are now toothpicks and splinters?
6. Who knew a baseball was made of so many little white strings?
7. She obviously doesn't like the taste of the English muffins because they made it from the butcher block in the kitchen to the back door of the sunroom unscathed.
8. Erin's celestial orb (the pretty silver thing with colorful beads that can be made into various shapes) is not in working order any more.
9. And the crowning glory? A big pile of poop.
I dare not laugh lest I be forced to live the rest of my life sans one limb or another.