• President Bush (the younger) has been offered a job as a greeter at a Dallas area hardware store.  No word yet on whether he's accepted it. BTW, whoever at the store came up with the idea is a marketing genius. 
• New York City's Parks & Rec officials think that Wall Streeters who have lost their jobs should be lifeguards. 
• Mom arrested for assault on a government official after she slaps the back of the head of her son's middle school basketball coach.  Apparently she was upset that he pulled the kid out of the game.  Middle school! 
• The coach of high school team in Kansas told to stop hynotizing his players.   
• A woman in Des Moines, Iowa was flashed by a man in a wheelchair.  This is a quote from the story: "He allegedly wheeled himself over to her car window, locked his wheelchair, lifted himself up on one leg and exposed himsef to her." Sadly, he did this in reaction to her question of where he was going and her offer of a ride.
• A grandma in South Korea has failed her driver's exam over 770 times and vows to keep trying.  Here's the pun: Man does she have Seoul.  That's horrid.  I can't believe I typed that.   
• FEMA's continuing on its incredible streak of positive PR by announcing that it distributed emergency food kits with tainted peanut butter.    
• Fair warning: Don't smoke on any plane, but especially not a flight to Saudi Arabia.  A man convicted of smoking on a Saudi Arabian Airlines flight has been sentenced to 30 lashes. 

That's it for this edition of Random News.