Until now I thought the craziest thing to come out of Wisconsin were the cheeseheads worn by Green Bay Packer fans.  That was before I read about the Christian paintball park in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin named Promised Land.  From the article:

Pastors, church youth leaders and mostly believers from Great Lakes states come here to bond and battle.

Every Canadian-made green paintball that stings you like the end of a
wet towel, does so with the grace of tiny Christian fish symbols
printed on their shell.

"I’ve looked in the Bible, and can’t find
anything wrong with paintball," reasons Andy Leong, a 48-year-old
Chicago marketing executive who’s come to celebrate the birthday of his
13-year-old son, Luke. "In fact, the Bible is filled with combat as a
topic."

The park, Leong says, preparing for battle, includes a lot of his
family’s Christian values — a prayer before combat, no swearing, no
cheating and no spiteful players…

This members-only facility, on most Saturdays, is a well-organized Christian missionary campaign.

"There’s an impression that Christians are wimps — that they’re just no fun," says Promised Land owner Rick Pinter.

"Christians can be tough and heroic."

In a little more than a decade, 40,000 people have fought for the glory of their God, and bragging rights here.

There is an entire Christian Paintball Players’ Association (CPPA) with
more than 4,000 members, largely in the U.S., but perhaps a couple
dozen in Canada.

"On a Sunday we could be in church, but why not
be out playing paintball and spreading the word?" says Dan Skinner, who
helps head an Ohio chapter of the CPPA.

The format for the game the reporter is engaging in appears to be a suitcase nuke sitting in an elevated jungle hooch with a timer visibly counting down and being guarded by 50 terrorist minders.  The goal is for the Christian soldiers to get to the nuke and stop the timer.

Man, this puts a whole new spin on youth group activities.  Who needs bowling or trips to the skating rink when you can go off some terrorists?  And that last line from the quote, you know the one where the guy justifies skipping church by saying he’s spreading the word in the middle of battle?  I’m thinking if I set up a Christian golf course I’ll be raking in the dough in no time.  Imagine the conversation in thousands of households:

Golfer: "Yes honey I realize its Sunday.  That’s why I’m going to play at Trinity CC and spread the Lord’s word while playing the Apostle course."

Spouse: "But what about church.  You know I hate sitting there with the kids all by myself, trying to keep them entertained.  I don’t even get to hear the sermon."

Golfer: "Well darlin’ you need to buck up.  I’m the Lord’s voice on the back nine and we all need to sacrifice to spread the Word."

Spouse: "Well that’s bullsh.."

Golfer: "Don’t say it!  I’m spreading the Word and that’s that.  Now where’s my damn driver?"

I mean I’m sitting smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt and golfer’s paradise.  What more do I need? A quick Google search reveals that there’s a Christian Golf Club of Central California and a couple of other golf-related ministries, but these are just groups and not actual facilities.  I may be on to something. Maybe we could do baptisms in the pond! 

Think of the potential investors.  Robertson, Falwell and company are more than a little business savvy and I’m sure they’d recognize the fundraising opportunities from the go.  Within a year we could be up and running with a Golfing for God Pro-Am, all donations tax-deductible and the standard 95% going to "administration fees" of the ministries. Yes, yes, yes I think we have a winner!