Today’s "controversy of the day", at least for the morning, is what ex-NBA player Tim Hardaway said when he was asked about he would handle having a gay (homosexual, not happy) teammate.  Here’s what he said:

You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I
don’t like gay people and I don’t like to be around gay people. I am
homophobic. I don’t like it. It shouldn’t be in the world or in the
United States…

And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really
distance myself from him because, uh, I don’t think that’s right. And
you know I don’t think he should be in the locker room while we’re in
the locker room. I wouldn’t even be a part of that.

Yowch.  His statements are definitely politically incorrect, obviously objectionable to many people and just as obviously reflective of his true feelings.  And I’d hazard a guess that his views are shared by many of his NBA peers and by a fairly large segment of the population.  Personally I don’t share his views, but they are his views and he’s being brutally honest about his feelings with his comments.

Well, not 24 hours after his comments hit the airwaves Hardaway has issued an apology.  Here’s an excerpt from an ESPN.com story about the controversy:

Hardaway, later saying he regretted the remarks, apologized for the
remarks during a telephone interview with Fox affiliate WSVN in Miami.

"Yes, I regret it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake."

Well, I’m sure he is sorry for making the comments.  He’s probably lost a lot of future dollars from media and PR gigs and I’ll bet he is sorry for that.  But is he sorry for hating gay people?  I doubt it, and in our society I don’t know if we can or should demand that people apologize for expressing their true feelings.  Nothing says we have to agree with them, or support them, but their feelings are as legitimate as anyone elses.  If anything we should say, "I hear what you’re saying and here’s why I think you’re wrong."  Instead we shout "You’re wrong you bigoted asshole!" and then wait for the public bowing down and apology.

Our airwaves are filled with celebrities, athletes, politicians and other infamous folk who open their mouths, utter something considered objectionable by a segment of the population, and then when they figure out they might lose money or status they issue an apology.  Their apologies are sincere in that they really regret making trouble for themselves, but otherwise they ring hollow as a damage containment tool.

For once I’d like someone to say something like, "I know most people don’t agree with what I said, but it’s what I believe and that’s that.  Maybe I should learn to say nothing if I’ve got nothing nice to say, but it’s too late for that now so if you disagree with me let’s talk about it."  Unfortunately we don’t seem to have people in the public eye willing to do that.

What’s real interesting about the Hardaway story is the reaction of John Amaeche, an ex-NBA player who came out of the closet in a book he recently wrote.  Amaeche’s book has caused a big stir in the NBA universe and is what prompted the interviewer to ask Hardaway about his feelings on having a gay teammate. Here’s what Amaechi said:

Finally, someone who is honest. It is ridiculous, absurb, petty,
bigoted and shows a lack of empathy that is gargantuan and
unfathomable. But it is honest. And it illustrates the problem better
than any of the fuzzy language other people have used so far.

Exactly.  Without people like Hardaway, people who say what they really feel, we don’t stand a chance of having an honest conversation about issues like these.  And without an honest conversation we don’t ever get any closer to understanding each other’s position.  In Amaeche’s words we will continue to have a gargantuan and unfathomable lack of empathy.