Every once in a while you come across a name that just kind of stops you in your tracks.  From the Orlando Sentinel comes this article about a family that has the following names:

• Yourhighness Vlair Takair Morgan (Hiney to his friends)
• Handsome Morgan
• Prince Morgan
• Gorgeous Morgan

Then there’s the recent story about a kid who was killed in California and who’s name was Dom Perignon Champagne.

I wish Celeste and I had thought of naming our kids with adjectives.  Following is a list of some of the most common adjectives used in advertising; imagine them being preceded by common parental statements like "Come here…" or "Stop doing that…"

• New
• Free
• Fresh
• Delicious
• Wonderful
• Special
• Crisp
• Fine
• Big
• Great
• Real
• Easy
• Bright
• Extra
• Safe
• Rich

Of course with a last name like Lowder (sounds like "louder") some verbs would have worked nicely as well:

• Pontificate (also has the advantage of a kind of subliminal pope reference)
• Flatulate (Fart for short)
• Whisper
• Tinkle
• Puke
• Slurp
• Gulp
• Screech

I really wish we’d been more imaginative.