As a parent one of the hardest lessons for me to teach is personal accountability,  mainly because I often feel like a hypocrite.  For instance the other night Celeste and I were giving our oldest son grief for his interim grade report which to much of the world would have been fine but to us smacked of underachievement.  Our opinion is supported by the fact that his grades are regularly dragged down by incomplete or missing homework assignments.  Of course his initial reaction is to state that his grades are better than all his friends’ which just throws fuel on our fire and he’s learned to keep his mouth shut.  But I can see in his eyes he still thinks it.

My problem is that I have to come down on him knowing full well that I did the same, if not worse.  Of course if I didn’t get on him and stay on him I’d just be coasting as a parent and I’m not going to do that.  I fully expect my kids to grow up and be better people than I could ever be and I’m going to do my damndest to help show them the way.

Unfortunately I don’t think my kids are getting good object lessons from the leaders of our country when it comes to taking personal responsibility for their actions.  President Bush would be an easy target for this so I won’t take that shot, but I will point to one current example of someone needing to learn to accept responsibility for her actions.  Rep. Cynthia McKinney had a little altercation with a Capitol Police officer when she forgot to wear a lapel pin that identifies her as a member of Congress and then after breezing past the security line at the Capitol (members are allowed to do that) was asked to stop three times by the officer.  When she failed to stop he touched her and she slugged him.  She says that he was overly aggressive and touched her inappropriately and believes that even without the pin he should have recognized her and that his actions were prompted by the fact that she was black.

Rather than acknowledge that she may have contributed to the situation Rep. McKinney played the race card.  How nice.  She could have said, "Well I should have worn my pin and I probably should have stopped to identify myself, but the officer was entirely too aggressive in stopping me and I think it had something to do with the fact that I was black" and this would be easier to swallow.  Instead she accuses an officer she doesn’t even claim to know of racism and assault and can’t even admit that she may have contributed to the situation.  Isn’t it a form of racism to assume another person is racist because they offend you and happen to be of a different race.  Couldn’t it just be that you are an onerous jerk?

I’ve always found the race card an interesting play because it tends to appear and disappear depending on the situation.  For instance I doubt that Rep. McKinney would claim that she is probably elected only because she comes from a heavily black voting district, not because she’s the most qualified for the job.  Of course if she lived in a diverse or heavily white neighborhood and lost an election she would probably claim it’s because she’s black. You see, playing the race card to avoid personal responsibility also precludes you from recognition for personal achievement.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely think there should be laws and regulations against excluding people from business, neighborhoods, organizations, etc. because of their race.  I also believe that preferential treatment specifically because of race is a mistake because it denies those receiving the preferential treatment from their due recognition.

And that’s the lesson I want my kids to learn.  They need to take responsibility for their actions and when they do they’ll be able to pridefully enjoy the achievements that are sure to follow.