From the wonderful newsletter Now I Know:

That raises a second question, though: if the cats living in our house see themselves as wild animals in their natural habitat, from the cats perspective, there shouldn’t be human. Feline brains, therefore, have to create an explanation as to who the Jon Arbuckles of the world are. We’re all cats. Bradshaw offered the following explanation, as described by CNET: “Cats think you’re just a a slightly big, dumb non-hostile cat. Quite specifically, he says that they treat humans as if they were their Mama Cat. All that rubbing up against you with their tails up is apparently no more than a hopeful check that you really are just another big, fat, slovenly cat who doesn’t intend to eat them with their Welsh Rarebit.”

To that end, Bradshaw doesn’t think that the cat you love has much appreciation for you. CBS described a kitten’s cuddles as a sign of hunger, not love; it was “how it used to get milk from its mother.” Or if you’re Garfield, lasagne from your adoptive dad.

And my wife wonders why I don’t like cats.