Job Requirements

People will read the darndest things.  For example, lots of people read the obituaries on a daily basis.  Why? Not sure, but I'm guessing that when you reach a certain age you begin to do it in an effort to see which of your peers is no longer with us.  Personally, I enjoy reading job postings on occassion.  Why?  Because you'll find some of the most bizarre stuff there, mostly because I don't believe a grasp of the English language is required for most HR positions, but also because outlining job requirements often leads job listers to write some really funny stuff.  To support my case I give you this jewel from the "Physical Demands" section of a job listing for a Marketing Communications Manager:

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is regularly required to use hands to finger, handle, or feel; reach with hands and arms; and talk or hear.  The employee frequently is required to stand, walk, and sit.

Could the writer have made the first sentence, before the first semicolon, any more disturbing?

Before you say it let me just state that I understand why they have to write this, but it doesn't make it any less funny that they did indeed have to write it. I'm also left to wonder why they didn't also write "use lips and tongue to form words, and use ears to hear" instead of just "talk and hear?"

Later, in the "Work Environment" section of the job listing, the writer attempts to make office work sound somehow more adventurous than it is:

While performing the duties of this job, the employee is occasionally exposed to moving mechanical parts and risk of electrical shock.  The noise level in the work environment is usually moderate (business office equipment).

Translation: Some goobs manage to get themselves shocked when they un-jam the copier. 

2 thoughts on “Job Requirements

  1. RLR

    Have laughed almost as hard at this post as I have at the comments on Lucy’s recent “Gentlemen, avert your eyes.” Actually, still laughing…


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