I know I've been distracted lately, what with three teenagers needing feeding and watering, the day job going on all cylinders and me being preternaturally distracted and all, but how in the heck did I miss this? ExtenZe opened its one and only store in Hanes Mall over the weekend! From the article:
ExtenZe has predominantly marketed to the male demographic in the past. Not only with a NASCAR Sprint Cup sponsorship of the No. 37 ExtenZe Racing Ford, but also through spokesman such as Jimmy Johnson, championship winning football coach, and porn star Ron Jeremy. Also with late night infomercials, featuring Bridgetta Tomarchio – actress, model, talking to people about their personal sexual performance levels.
But now one of the hottest products is ExtenZe Women, an all-natural blend to create a female libido booster. In addition to these enhance products, the store plans to capitalize on traditional mall products with the ExtenZe logo on and engaging slogans such as “Yeah, We’re Cocky” and
“Growing Our Fan Base One Member at a Time”.
I never thought I'd live to see the day that Hanes Mall was mentioned in the same article with Ron Jeremy. Seriously, is this a hoax or can someone confirm that there is indeed an ExtenZe store at Hanes Mall? I go to the mall once a year (Christmas Eve, 3:00 p.m. in a panic) so I have no way of knowing for sure.
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Befuddled 
Is Dick Trickle a spokesman? Sorry, I won’t go any farther.
Hanes Mall wants space occupied. The Winston-Salem Journal and other newspapers run those, suspicious to me, full page ads that promise the world. Most of the time a quick Google of the ad will reveal a company at the wrong edge of the consumer universe. Full of consumer complaints. But these ads are accepted by the very newspapers that should do be doing investigative reports into illegal or scurrilous or unfounded claims. It is ripe; the potential for an ethics snafu or conflict of interest at the very least and hypocritical as well. Ad revenue trumps “journalism”. Yay!
So in a recent bout of insomnia I saw several sexually explicit ads and funny commercials they don’t show during normal hours and one commercial left me perturbed… ExtenZe, a weener enhancement pill, has a new spokesman. Jimmy “How bout them cowboys” Johnson. The first time I saw it I didn’t really listen because I was saying “What the fuck?” out loud, over and over again.