In my previous post I mentioned that the kids were away at mission camp last week.  What I didn’t mention is that my Aunt Debbie spent five years of her life building the mission camp before turning it over to others and moving to Blue Heron Farm with her husband Steve.  Debbie took up blogging a while back and in her latest post she shared with us how she and the others on the farm are working to identify their community’s core values.  My favorite part of the post was how she defined "abundance":

Unpacking abundance: I’ll just start by saying that abundance was my
bottom-line value contribution. so I really wanted to see it on our
list of three values. Within our small group, and later in large group
discussion we referred to abundance as a lofty ideal and a fluffy word.
I agree! It’s a leap of faith to believe there is enough. I’ve spent
the last five years leading mission camps where we faced head-on the
overwhelming needs of Appalachian mountain communities. We did this
with limited funds, tools, and mostly unskilled, teenage laborers.
Miracles were a daily occurrence. I still believe, more than ever, that
there is enough. And I also believe we need a lot more practice around
sharing and simplicity so the haves and the have-nots are standing
closer together. My life revolves around this very practice.

This really struck a chord with me.  I don’t know if it’s a form of middle aged crisis or what, but I’ve been feeling a growing urge to do something…more.  Don’t get me wrong, I feel very fulfilled as a husband and father and I enjoy being in the part of my career where I don’t feel like a paper-pusher any more, but, and it’s a big but,  I wonder if perhaps I could be doing more. 

When I left for college I thought I’d be a teacher, but then I decided against it.  Then I thought, "Well, I’ll make my fortune and then teach as a second career.  That way I won’t be beholden to anyone and can teach on my own terms."  Can we say naive?  Now I find myself saying, "When the kids are grown I’ll have more time to devote to helping others."  Ah, but life has a funny way of replacing one obligation excuse with another and I’m sure when the kids are gone it’ll be something like "Well, when the house is totally fixed up I’ll…"

As I’m having this conversation with myself I remember something my stepfather, John Garrity, said to me when I was a soon-to-be Daddy who wasn’t so sure he was ready.  John said, "If everyone waited until they thought they were ready to have children then there wouldn’t be many kids around."  I think the same is true of doing more.  If everyone waited until their own lives were perfect then there wouldn’t be things like Mission Camp.

I’m not sure where I’m going to go with this.  I just know that I’m increasingly feeling the need to make a significant change.  I’ve talked to Celeste about this and I’m afraid I’ve scared her to death.  She probably thinks I’m going to quit my job and join the Peace Corps, but that’s not the kind of thing I’m talking about.  Rather I’m looking at this the way some nutritionists look at losing weight: it’s not about going on a radical diet, but about making a lifestyle change.  What can I do on a daily basis to do more?  As Debbie put it, how can I stand closer?

I’m asking these questions because, as I said, I feel very fulfilled.  I feel like I have received many gifts of abundance including good health, a loving family, security (both emotional and financial) and community.  We’re by no means wealthy, but too often abundance is equated with wealth and that’s just not so.  I won’t retire any time in my middle age, but at the same time I don’t have to worry about where the next meal is coming from, or whether or not I’ll have a roof over my head tomorrow.  Compared to many that’s a great deal of abundance and for that reason I think it’s important to stand shoulder to shoulder with those who need more.

How to do this?  Right now I don’t have the answer, but I’m working on it.