Since moving to the Piedmont Triad area of North Carolina I’ve noticed that something like 98% of homeowners use a riding lawn mower rather than a push mower.  I suspect that over 50% of apartment dwellers also own riding lawn mowers in anticipation of someday having a yard where they can use it, but in the meantime they tool around looking for things to cut.

I’ve also noticed that I get lots of strange looks when I mow the lawn. We have about a 1/2 acre yard (lots of landscaping so it’s not as bad as it sounds) and the fact that I would push a mower rather than ride one makes the folks around here nervous.  It’s bad enough that I’ve practiced every religion under the sun, but pushing when I could ride makes me look downright un-American here in "bologna and American cheese on white bread with Miracle Whip is an exotic meal"-ville.  I like pushing my mower though, because I feel I get a nice little workout in the process of doing my yard work.  I also have the luxury of having a 15 year old son who can push the mower if I’m ever not in the mood, and soon his 12 year old brother will be able to pinch hit as well.  They’ve been lobbying for a riding mower, but I tell them that I’m saving the money for their college funds.  Little do they know that the amount spent on one riding mower would probably by one text book for them.

Anyhow, I’ve become convinced that there’s something strange in the air here.  Over in Greensboro they’ve got a couple of fools riding their mowers on Wendover, which for those of you unfamiliar with Greensboro is a major thoroughfare in the city.  One moron lives two miles from his office and decided to ride his mower to save on gas.  Asked why he rides it to work he said it’s fun and he’s saving on gas, but apparently it never occurred to him that he might come into contact with a decidedly bigger vehicle and he could probably get to work faster if he simply walked.  As for the whole safety issue, ‘lo and behold today I read over at Fec’s that another dufus on a mower was hit by a car while trying to make a left hand turn off of Wendover.  If you’re looking for the exception that proves Darwin’s theory of evolution you need only look at this last case since the driver of the car is the one that had to go to the hospital; mower boy escaped without a scratch. 

Only in the Piedmont.