I was reading Mental Floss and they linked to an article in Time magazine (March, 2007) that focuses on pastor’s wives. Here’s the most interesting part:
Eight in 10 pastors’ wives say they feel unappreciated or unaccepted by
their husbands’ congregations, according to surveys by the Global
Pastors Wives Network (GPWN); the same number wish their husbands would
choose another profession. "Wives’ issues" is the No. 1 reason pastors
leave their ministries. The divorce rate among ministers and their
wives is 50%, no better than that of the general public.
Ouch.
It would be interesting to see if female pastors’ husbands feel the same kind of pressure. I seriously doubt it since our society tends to assume that men will/should work, so a female pastor’s husband probably doesn’t have the same set of expectations heaped upon him. According to the article 70% of pastors wives choose to work, but the tone of the article implies that the working doesn’t relieve the expectations of them to support their husbands’ ministries.
I guess what this means is next time you’re in church you need to make sure you take a moment to shake the pastor’s wife’s hand before you shake his and head out the door.
Discover more from Befuddled
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Befuddled 
I think that there is probably a large cultural difference between churches that have women pastors and those that don’t ordain women. The former would likely impose fewer expectations on their pastor’s husband.
Full disclosure: I am the son of a pastor, from a denomination that considered Southern Baptists to be liberal. Those congregations brought a lot of expectations about the entire pastor’s family.
And your final point is a very good one: spend a little time getting to know/encouraging your pastor’s spouse.