Over My Dead Body

Recently a 40 year old teacher (now former teacher) here in North Carolina married a 16 year old student who he also coached in cross country. Here’s what the story in the Winston-Salem Journal said:

Brenton Wuchae
coached Windy Hager at South Brunswick High School, where she recently
completed her sophomore year as one of the school’s top runners. He
also lives less than two miles away from the Hagers’ home on Oak Island.

Wuchae married Hager in Brunswick County on Monday, according to a marriage license.

Hager’s parents,
Dennis and Betty Hager, said they did all they could to keep the couple
apart after noticing a deeper-than-usual friendship forming between
them. The parents said they tried to intervene by talking to the coach,
going to school officials, pleading with police and sheriff’s office
detectives, even other teachers and students at South Brunswick.

But the Hagers say they reluctantly signed a consent form allowing their daughter to marry her coach.

It’s often hard to criticize parents because you just don’t know what it’s really like for them.  We’ve all seen parents completely lose it on their kids over seemingly small acts of misbehavior and thought "I wonder what the kid’s done before that caused this over reaction", or at least we hope it’s a "straw that broke the camel’s back" thing.  In this case I’m not going to necessarily criticize the parents but I am going to say that you’d have to put a pen in my cold, dead fingers and move my hand for me in order to get me to sign the consent form.  I’d rather take out a note on the house and put my daughter in a boarding school somewhere north of the arctic circle than turn her over to some middle-aged, can’t handle women his own age, bum of an ex-teacher.

And of course stories like this make it oh-so-much-easier to convince my friends back in DC that I really didn’t move to the location for Deliverance.

3 thoughts on “Over My Dead Body

  1. Issue

    This is one more example of something going terribly wrong in our society…If you look at the webpage http://teachertrash.blogspot.com/search/label/North%20Carolina
    you will see many many teachers in our great state making huge mistakes, then you hear about Mr. Snow, the teacher from Clemmons Middle, hear stories of families settling for thousands of dollars so the story never even reaches the public, the florida female teacher and so on…. where have we gone astray? What do we need to do to fix this problem and regardless of what people have stated in other post about Mr. Snow and their not being a pandemic- This just shows we have a major issue in our schools systems…inappropriate conduct, sexual advances, consential or not, inocent or not we need to change the way things are handled and change something to prevent them from happening. As a parent I would never agree, I would have put a restraining order on this man, this little girl is still a minor and still a child, I would have moved her away to family or like you said boarding school. She is 16 she is not capable of understanding what she has done, when she is 20 or so she will regret not having her life the way other teenagers do, she will start questioning why he wasnt with someone his age or eventually he will leave her for another young female….this is a huge issue and we need to stop attacking the victims and the children and figure out what we as adults, educators, government, human beings can do to save our children from harm or bad decisions at a young age, we need to teach them appropriate and inappropriate teacher student relationship, teach them to speak when something is wrong and figure out a way to help our teachers draw a fine line and not cross it, is it something new or something just being talked about more??? I know when I was a student we had all older women teachers (well for the most part), we had strong willed male teachers that just cared about us a children, I think back to my school days and I never had a teacher do anything like this, our teachers were wonderful, and I don’t remember anyone talking about a teacher doing something like this, I just dont get it??? Are we so short staffed we are hiring just anyone, are we not paying closer attention to our schools??? It makes me sick to think about the last few cases I have heard about and I feel so bad for the children.

    Reply
  2. Jon Lowder

    Esbee,
    As always you’re right on. That works in so many ways: highlights what that girl’s probably going to want to do in a couple of years, and points out that folks in my old home town have their own freaks.
    Issue,
    I think you and I are on the same page about the girl, and especially letting a 16 year old make such a monumentally bad move. Maybe the parents were worried that she would run away, get suicidally depressed or something of that nature if they didn’t go along. I don’t know, but all I can say is that I just can’t imagine myself signing that piece of paper.
    As for the changes in our schools I honestly don’t know if we’re seeing a growth in occurences or a growth in awareness. I’m a firm believer that the human race has always had a certain number of deviants in its numbers and what has changed is, first there are exponentially more people alive today than just five or six generations ago, and second there’s a greater awareness of the world beyond our own communities. I think that means that there are more deviants alive today than ever before, even if the percentage of the whole is the same as the past, and that we’re more likely to hear about deviants where ever they may live. Unfortunately I think our schools are a representation of the whole of society.

    Reply

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