One of my favorite bloggers and a guy that I wish I could get together with more for lunch is Jeff Martin, aka Fecund Stench.  His Christmas wish list is a perfect example of why I love his writing.  Here’s the link and here’s the list:

To the following, I wish anything but the Joys of the Season:

• Telemarketers – I’m sorry that you are poor and this is the best job you could get.  It’s still no excuse.
• Banks – There may be a good one out there. If so,
  I apologize. But the conditions that bank employees and customers
  endure is inhuman.
• Politicians – I could put all the good ones in a small closet with Howard Coble.
• Rabid Liberals – You’re just not helping.
• Rabid Conservatives – You’re just not helping.
• Rabid Libertarians – You just want to legalize pot.  We get it.
• Food Lion – Again, inhuman conditions for employees and patrons.
• News & Record – One day when you are retired,
  I want someone to explain the editorial gestalt. I don’t get it. See,
  when I make a booboo, I apologize and get on with it. I don’t stand
  there quietly looking at the 800 Pound Gorilla in the room.
• New Car Dealers – I pray there is a special place in Hell for you.
• Property Developers – My hands ache to get a hold of you.
• Jesus Freaks – Why is Jesus such a babe?  Would you not have fallen for an ugly man?  Or God forbid, a woman.  Wake up and smell the coffee.