I’ve been in a fantasy baseball league (Forkball) for several years now and I’ve been a perennial cellar dweller.  I tried to forget this but since the league is hosted on Yahoo! and Yahoo! has created a player profile that tracks fantasy players’ lifetime performance I can tell you that I plain suck at this.  Here’s my numbers:

• 2003 – 9th Place
• 2004 – 8th Place
• 2005 – 8th Place

Yahoo! also informs me that my overall performance is 37%.  I feel like I just flunked algebra for the third time.

Well, our 2006 stats just went live last night and it looks like I’m teetering between 5th and 6th place.  Last year my pitching was actually among the best in the league but my offense was horrid.  So far this year my offense has been pretty good but my pitching ain’t too great.  It doesn’t help that I had Clemens last year and he retired…well kind of.

Now that I’ve established my baseball expertise I want to share with you my top predictions for the 2006 season:

• Coco Crisp will lead the league in home runs.
• Barry Bonds will pull a reverse Babe Ruth and become a starting pitcher and win the Cy Young in both the National and American Leagues after he’s traded to the Yankees for A-Rod.
• The Red Sox will come out of the closet…all of them.
• The Devil Rays will move to Omaha in mid-season.
• The "commissioner" will effectively deal with the whole steroid thing.

Now you know why I’m so good.