I might have found all the evidence I need that if you call yourself a psychologist you can get away with saying just about anything, especially if you do it with a British accent.  From Boing Boing:

(S+C) x (B+F)/T = V is the formula that describes the "ideal female ass"
in shape, bounce, firmness and symmetry, according to
psychology lecturer  David Holmes of Manchester Metropolitan University in England:

S is the overall shape or droopiness
of the bottom, C represents how spherical the buttocks are, B measures
muscular wobble or bounce, while F records the firmness.
V is the hip to waist ratio, or symmetry of the bottom, and T measures
the skin texture and presence of cellulite.

Here’s the link to the full source article.  From that article we further learn from Mr. Holmes:

He asked about 2000 women across Britain to assess their bottoms using a simple points scale.

For example, those who believed theirs resembled a trodden doughnut
scored just one point for shape, whereas those with a small peach
scored the maximum five.

Points were then entered into the formula and the closer a bottom scored to 80, the nearer it was to posterior perfection.

"The perfect female derriere has firmness to the touch and a resilience
that prevents undue wobble or bounce, yet looks soft with flawless
skin," Dr Holmes said.

"Slender thighs and a hip-to-waist ratio of 0.7 will frame the perfect bum, well perfectly."

I’d like to meet the woman who classifies her own butt as a "trodden doughnut."