I had lunch yesterday with my youngest son and three of his friends in their school cafeteria.  One half hour of learning for yours truly, including:

• Nine year old boys know what french kissing is and will be happy to describe it to you in graphic detail.  Of course their point of reference is some un-named movie where an alien disguised as a woman disembowels her "boybriend" with her tongue while engaging him with a french lip-lock.  Being an experienced father of three I decide not to point out the metaphoric properties of their version of a french kiss and just let it rest.
• If you’re uncomfortable with a topic of conversation just wait five seconds since you’ll be on another subject anyway.
• Nine year old boys now have girlfriends.  Some even have multiple girlfriends.  I was tempted to point out the inherent danger (hell hath no fury, yada, yada, yada) but decided they’d learn on their own soon enough.
• Nine year old boys are still gross.  Cows don’t regurgitate as much as these guys.
• I don’t know diddly squat about video games any more.
• All business people should go back to an elementary school cafeteria for a refresher course in trading.  Markets define themselves on the fly…1/4 piece of pizza for 12 Doritos, 10 french fries for a cookie…no wait I’ve changed my mind I think 12 fries would be more fair, and so on until a win-win is achieved.  And no anymosity or b.s.ing.
• Nine year olds are honest, brutally honest.  A certain girl is "stupid", a certain boy is a dork, I’m not particularly well groomed, you get the idea.
• Burping, farting and such are still funny.
• Adults need naps after power lunches with third graders.