Call it the Jon Lowder Curse:

1972 – Jon moves to D.C.  Neighbor’s townhouse burns down. Washington Senators become Texas Rangers.  The Redskins get thumped by the Dolphins in the Super Bowl (January, 1973).

1978 – As an exception to prove the rule the Washington Bullets win the NBA championship.  After that Washingon joins the Clippers as one of the worst franchises in the NBA for close to 30 years.

1980s – Early 90s – Okay, it wasn’t all bad.  Redskins are one of the dominant teams in the NFL as they win three Super Bowls, but then…

1984 – Jon graduates from Capital Lutheran High School West.  Two weeks later the school goes out of business.

1989 – The Texas Rangers (see 1972 Washington Senators above) are purchased by a consortium led by George W. Bush
in 1989, which helps catapult him to Governor of Texas in 1994 and
President of the United States in 2000.  Consequently bad public
speaking becomes the order of the day (even most Republicans admit
that), my mother’s blood pressure rises exponentially and trees experience
lots of bark loss as they are hugged relentlessly in protest.

2004 – Jon moves to Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  Montreal Expos become the Washington Nationals, and Northern Virginia climbs to number 11 on Inc. magazine’s Best Places while Winston Salem plummets to 234th place.

The Washington Wizards (nee Bullets) make the playoffs for the first time since 1997, and the first time not as the lowest seed since the early 80s.

And in a direct continuum from the 1972 reference above we endure an endless presidential campaign featuring two of the worst public speakers in the history of US politics.  Worse, we are forced to admit that our country’s fate was left in the hands of Ohio, the Florida of the north.

Now be nice or I’ll move to your neighborhood and bring the locusts with me.