Family Week

I got to spend most of last week with my family.  Celeste had to be in DC for work on Wednesday and Thursday so we all accompanied her and stayed with my in-laws. We spent the day on Sunday at Celeste’s brother’s house for a party with all of her family, and then on Monday I visited one of my clients in Alexandria while Celeste took the kids to Orange, VA to visit her friend Lee.

Justinbbq
On Tuesday I drove Celeste, Erin, and my mother-in-law Patti Rogers to a tea and then took Justin for ribs at King Street Blues. After that we drove over to Arlington National Cemetery and saw the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown and then we found the grave of my high school buddy Louis Robinson (Lance Corporal, US Marines), who was killed exactly 20 years ago this month.

Img_0465
On Wednesday I drove Celeste to her client’s office at McPherson Square, and then went back to get Erin and Justin.  We headed over to Occoquan and had lunch with my buddy Ted before going downtown to pick up Celeste. Having the kids along allowed us to utilize the HOV lanes and get back to the in-laws’ house in about 1/2 hour.

Jonmikeatwhitehouse_1 Yesterday my oldest son Mike (formerly Michael) and I took Celeste into the city (again utilizing HOV) for her meetings and then did the tourist thing. The photo of us was taken in front of the White House on the Lafayette Park side and was shot with ye old camera phone, thus the purple hue and enormous belly on moi.  For the record I’m actually an incredibly fit tri-athlete often mistaken for Pierce Brosnan…damn crappy phone.

Anyway we started out having breakfast at the Old Ebbitt Grill, then walked over to the White House and followed that with a walk to the Bureau of Engraving & Printing where we couldn’t get a tour pass, so we went next door to the Holocaust Museum. There I found out how little Mike’s been taught about the Holocaust so despite the fact that he found it kind of boring (he described it as "lots of words and pictures") I’m definitely glad we did it.  It’s incredibly powerful and I think he’ll appreciate it all the more in coming years.

Img_0510_1
After lunch (excellent chicken salad sandwiches provided by my mother-in-law) we walked over to the World War II Memorial and then the Lincoln Memorial and Vietnam Memorial. After that we took a break and drove over to Union Station and walked around it and then visited the Postal Museum next door.  Once we were done there we drove over to McPherson Square and picked up Celeste.

After that we drove back to the in-laws via the HOV lanes, had a quick dinner with them and packed up the kids and headed home.  We were in our garage at the stroke of midnight.

It was a blur, but I had a blast.

Changing of the Guards

Celeste and I took two of our kids and my mother-in-law to Arlington National Cemetery on Tuesday (Aug. 8) and watched the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown.  Here’s some video I shot. Forgive the shakiness…I had to film holding the camera over my head.

Don’t Buy Gas from the Bastards on Old Bridge Road

GashikeSee that picture on the right?  You might have to click on it to see it at full size to see that I paid $3.39 for 87 octane unleaded gas. I took the picture with my camera phone right after filling up at a station on Old Bridge Road in Prince William County, VA earlier this week. It was the day after the BP announcement re. the pipeline in Alaska being shut down for a while and a miraculous $.40/gallon jump occured overnight.

I bought there because I was on fumes and didn’t have the opportunity to look elsewhere, but just down the road I found gas that was $.20/gallon cheaper and that trend stayed everywhere I drove.  I’ll take my hits for not looking for gas sooner and denying myself the chance to find a better price, but I can at least call them out on their gouging. 

On the way home last night I got a tank full in Petersburg, VA for $2.92. 

And for the record I don’t have anything against higher oil prices (that whole supply and demand thing), but I do have something against gougers.

For Book Lovers Everywhere

Bookmooch. This might be the most promising online book-swapping idea I’ve seen.  Basically you sign up, let people know which books you’re looking to give away, mail the books and then get points for every book you’ve mailed.  You can use those points to then have someone mail you a book you want. Here’s how the point system is explained.

I haven’t used it yet but I’ll let you know what happens.  If it works this seems to get around the problem of figuring out who pays the freight for shipping items when you’re trading stuff online which has always seemed like a sticking point for me.  Looks pretty cool.

A Life of “Deferred Success”

It seems that the teachers union in England, the Professional Association of Teachers, is asking its members to avoid describing their students as clever or giving their students awards for being clever as to avoid causing the students to be bullied…for being clever.  This is the same group that last year asked its members to replace the term ‘failure’ with ‘deferred success.’  You can read about it here.

Thus my life accomplishments have now been re-categorized.

What You Get When You Search My Name + —Hole

Warning: Semi-adult language to follow.

Yesterday I was looking at the stats for this blog to see if the article about Winston-Salem bloggers on the front page of the Winston-Salem Journal led to an increase in traffic over the normal three or four wackos who normally read this thing.  Sure enough the traffic about doubled, but I found something even more interesting.

You see the stats show where every visitor came from and the majority of visitors come from search engines.  If I click on the link it takes me to the search engine and shows me the search term that was used and the page on which my blog appeared.  Here’s a small sample of some of the terms, the search engine they were used on and where some page on my blog ranked for those terms on the search engines:

  • tyco chicken illegal aliens (Google, #1)
  • nudist blog (Google, #42)
  • inside of ant hills  (Google, #1)
  • battambang cattle industry 2006 (MSN, #3)
  • Ernest Angley (Yahoo, #14)
  • "ed cone" asshole (Google, #40)

Obviously I have a warped mind if I’m writing posts that pull in people interested in illegal chicken processors, nudists, wannabe anteaters, obscure indian cattle data and crazy televangelists.  But when I got to that last one I was kind of bothered.  I mean what had I written that woul equate Greensboro’s "blogfather" with a negative anatomical description/epithet?  Ends up that it was this post and the anatomical reference wasn’t even about Ed.

Side note to Ed: You might want to find out who is so motivated to go four pages deep in a Google search for that phrase; me-thinks there’s someone out there with a thing for you.

Well, this got me to wondering what would happen if I searched "jon lowder" asshole in Google.  So I did and I found that the search returned about 160 results.  The top result was the same post that featured Ed and then number two was on Ed’s blog so I guess we’re even.  Number five was a post on Vie de Malchance, number six was on Billy the Blogging Poet, number seven was another Ed Cone post and number eight was Patrick Eakes.  These are all Greensboro blogs and people I’ve corresponded with so I started wondering if perhaps I’d done something untoward.

So I followed the links and found out that on Vie’s blog I was an innocent bystander and checking Billy’s blog I only find myself referenced in his blog roll so I guess I’m an innocent bystander there too.  On to Ed’s other post and I find that it is recent and interesting in terms of the comments, but I had nothing to do with it other than the fact that my name is on Ed’s blog roll.  On Patrick’s I find that I have nothing to do with it other than the fact that my name is on his blog roll too.

The dim light over my head is beginning to glow.  It appears that if you use two terms, supposedly unrelated, they can pop up in search.  So although I haven’t found an instance where someone has called me an asshole I’m certainly being lumped in with many assholes.  Obviously I’ve probably done the same on my blog so I’m going to use this space to issue a blanket apology to all the victims of my random a-holes and other nefarious comments.

There’s Bad Beats and Then There’s BAD Beats

Allinben
Before moving to Winston-Salem I played a lot of basement poker, usually at my friend Kevin’s house.  I don’t get to play with them much any more, but they keep me in the loop via email.  For the last two years a bunch of them have been going out to the World Series of Poker and it usually leads to some funny stories, and most of them have to do with "All-in Ben" (that’s him to the left), the craziest and loosest player in our group.

Kevin just got back from WSOP and here’s this year’s story in full from Kevin’s email:

"Just got back from Vegas.  Have an all-in Ben story.
 
Ben sits down at a Texas Hold-em  $25-50 No limit "CASH" game.
Starts with $3,000 in cash.  Builds his chips to just under $8,000.
 
The Hand heard around the world!!!
 
Ben:  pocket 7’s
player 2:  pocket 9’s
player 3:  pocket A’s
 
Player 3 bets $500 pre-flop and Ben and #2 call.
 
Flop:  7,7,9
 
Ben checks his 4 7’s.
#2 bets $1,500 with full house.  #3 raises $1,500 with AA77.
$3,000 for Ben to call so he raises "all-in Ben" to $7,400
 
Player#2 raises $1,500 and player #3 calls.
 
Main pot that only Ben can win is just under $24,000.
 
Side pot $3,000 for player 2&3.
 
As the turn card comes, Ben is thinking of the new van he is going buy, pay off other gambling debts, prob. buy Erica something.
 
Turn card is A.
 
Player 2 bets big and #3 raises big.
 
River card comes and it changes Ben’s life forever:  9
 
Player 2 bets big and player 3 raises and player 2 re-raises.
 
Side pot at about $100,000 and main pot just under $24,000.
 
4 9’s beat 4 7’s and A’s full of 7’s.
 
Player 2 wins $124,000."

Climb a Tree, Get DNA Profiled

You know how a lot of people have been bent out of shape because of the Patriot Act and their fear that Uncle Sam is becoming Big Brother?  Well, maybe it’s because they fear that we’re going to become a society that allows something like what happened recently in the UK to happen here. Excerpt is from the Daily Mail article:

To the 12-year-old friends planning to build themselves a den, the cherry tree seemed an inviting source of material.

But the afternoon adventure turned into a frightening ordeal for
Sam Cannon, Amy Higgins and Katy Smith after they climbed into the 20ft
tree – then found themselves hauled into a police station and locked in
cells for up to two hours.

Their shoes were removed and mugshots, DNA samples and mouth swabs were taken.

Officers told the children they had been seen damaging the tree which is in a wooded area of public land near their homes.

Questioned by police, the scared friends admitted they had
broken some loose branches because they had wanted to build a tree
house, but said they did not realise what they had done was wrong.

Officers considered charging the children with criminal damage
but eventually decided a reprimand – the equivalent of a caution for
juveniles – was sufficient.

Although the reprimand does not amount to court action and the children do not have a criminal record, their details will be kept on file for up to five years.

App State is Hot, Hot, Hot!

Appalachian State University is about an hour west of my house and is the home of the current NCAA Division 1-AA football championship squad. I also have a couple of cousins who graduated from that fine institution, but I’d venture a guess that they aren’t too proud of the official promotional video the school produced last year.  The cheese factor is immense and while watching it you can’t help but wonder if Lawrence Welk has come back from the dead.  Yikes.

Tax Cheats

David Cay Johnston is a New York Times reporter who wrote Perfectly Legal, a book I highly recommend if you want to: a. Get thoroughly pissed off and b. Get a better understanding of how our tax system does and/or does not work. Johnston has an article in today’s Times about how, according to a report from the US Senate Permanent Investigations subcommittee, tax cheating by the superrich is out of control.  Here’s some excerpts from the article:

The report details how the Quellos Group, a tax shelter boutique
based in Seattle, “concocted a tax shelter” using $9.6 billion “worth
of fake securities transactions that were used to generate billions of
dollars of fake capital losses.”

Senator Levin said that when
investigators asked for trading records they were first told the trades
were private, over-the-counter transactions. He said investigators
asked for trading tickets or other evidence of who owned the $9.6
billion worth of stock and were told the stocks were never owned by the
parties involved.

“They just wrote down numbers on paper and
claimed losses,” he said. “It was just like fantasy baseball, except
the taxes not paid were for real.”

And more:

The investigation, which took 18 months, involved 74 subpoenas, 80
interviews and the collection of more than two million documents, and
yet Senator Levin said “the six cases we present are just examples,
just a pinhole look.”

The 400-page report recommends eight
changes, some of them aimed at going after the law and accounting
firms, banks and investment advisers that the report says enable tax
schemes that rely on complexity, secrecy and compartmentalizing
information so that advisers can claim they had no idea that the
overall transaction was a fraud.

“We need to significantly
strengthen the aiding and abetting statutes to get at the lawyers and
accountants and other advisers who enable this cheating,” Senator Levin
said, adding that “we need major changes in law to stop the use of tax
havens” by tax cheats.

And finally this:

The report details a scheme created for Mr. Saban to avoid more than
$300 million in taxes from sale of his half interest in the Family
Channel and related properties.

Mr. Saban told Senate
investigators that he never understood the transactions but undertook
them after asking two questions of Mr. Wilk and his personal tax
lawyer, Matthew Krane.

Mr. Saban said he asked whether the deals
were legal and whether a major law firm would certify them as proper.
The two lawyers, Mr. Saban said, answered “yes to both,” so he went
ahead.

Later, when Mr. Saban learned that he had paid $54 million
in fees to Quellos; Cravath Swaine & Moore, a New York law firm;
and others for what turned out to be what the report described as fake
transactions, he said he felt “misled, lied to and cheated.”

Lewis
R. Steinberg, who as a Cravath Swaine partner helped design the deal
and wrote an opinion letter attesting that it was more likely than not
to work as a tax shelter, told Senate investigators last week that he
relied on assurances from Quellos and Mr. Johnson that real
transactions took place, not fake trades. Mr. Steinberg, who is now at
UBS Securities, another firm named in the report, is a prominent tax
lawyer and in 2004 was chairman of the tax section of the American Bar Association.

After reading Perfectly Legal and Conspiracy of Fools I’m convinced that we’ll never see tax-reform or even an even playing field because the real white collar crooks and crook-enablers are in the legal and accounting professions and they have an inordinate influence on the Hill and throughout the halls of federal and state governments.  Unfortunately I think Senator Levin and his allies are fighting a lost cause.